Anonymous writes: Snappy Answers to Stupid Spammers

It would be fair to say that a large number of the comments I get on this website are from young spam-artistes desperate to use my media clout to get them on the ladder of the potentially lucrative making-me-buy-sexual-enhancement-products industry. One of their key strategies is to praise my site in a way which makes me think that what I’m reading are some kind thoughts from a genuine fan. What they don't realise is that my true fans are literate individuals whose comments hardly ever contain the term “sturdy erections”. Here, for the first time, I publish some of my favourite unpublished spam comments, with my responses.


Anonymous writes: Dear Author www.suddain.com ! I congratulate, excellent idea and it is duly

Yes, my friend, it is Duly! But before you know it, it will be Daugust.

Anonymous writes: Wow! Thank you! I always wanted to write in my site something like that. Can I take part of your post to my blog?

Of course! You may take all the vowels - except Y, which I sometimes need.

Anonymous writes: lets talk about your favourite sport games. i live football.

Thanks, I enjoy greyhound racing and nude paint-ball battle reenactments. Where do you live? Let’s drink coffee!

Anonymous writes: Is it practicable to altercation interdependence couple with you? Regards, Mirek.

Mirek, you are asking if I swing? This is a big step for me and I would need to see some photos of you and your wife first. FYI, don’t just send your holiday snaps. You’ll increase your chances if you put some effort into costumes and scenery. Best of luck!

Anonymous writes: Good day You bored habitual sex!

Good day, you creepy cyber-ghoul!

Anonymous writes: Oh my god!!! This is so altogether incredibly amazing. Couldn’t notion that something as riveting as this was even now in the oblivion. Your in smithereens of situation is hardly astounding. buy viagra pills. Congo popinjay!!!

Thanks for writing, Congo. I do put a lot of effort into my posts, but my smithereens of the situation is only one point of view, and there are many other sites available in the oblivion.

Anonymous writes: Is it possible to truck identify with with you? Regards, Marie

Yes, Marie, meet me at junction 44 of the M25 today and we will truck identify together.

Anonymous writes: ...please where can I buy a unicorn?

At your unicorner store, friend! Or Harrods.

Anonymous writes: Stay us for the nonce to buy more information and facts!

I understand. It is hard to find a nonce to buy you information since they closed News of the World. Have you asked Piers Morgan?

Anonymous writes: Ей захотелось заплакать, но слезы не к лицу боевому офицеру.

Your typing's gone crazy there. I think you spilled боевому on your keyboard!

Anonymous writes: You pall its girl or wife you're tired of itspartner, a lover can not You bring, you looking for diversity in Personal Life?

Mirek. You’re coming on a little strong. Let’s just start with the photos.

Anonymous writes: Hey, I am checking this blog using the phone and this appears to be kind of odd.

It’s not your phone.

Anonymous writes: The plants are not provided with any support so that they make a thick layer of growth which will cover a wide area of the bank.

That is interesting. Please tell me you are not writing this while burying a corpse.

Anonymous writes: So qrazy.. Mmm.. After

You are strange and funny. You should have my job.

Anonymous writes: Delete shis text plz. Sorry.

Consider it done. For shiz.

Anonymous writes: Hello! I'm newbie in Internet, can you give me some useful links? I know only about Yahoo.

This might help ... www.piersmorgan.com